mikey should fire himself...

courtesy of mike bell @ http://www.790thezone.com

Heading into Martinsville Michael Waltrip is dead last in the Nextel Cup points race. After failing to qualify in 4 of the first 5 races the driver of the Napa Auto Parts Toyota Camry is 818 points behind series leader Jeff Gordon. And to add insult to injury he actually has a negative points total because of the penalties incurred at Daytona for cheating. The pride of Owensboro Kentucky is minus 27. That’s worse than John “Bluto” Blutarsky’s GPA of 0.0 in Animal House. How do you think the honchos over at Toyota feel about this situation? They’ve got 100 million dollars invested in this guy’s operation and that’s a conservative estimate. And all they’ve got to show for it is one huge black eye. Not to mention the money he’s stealing from Napa and Burger King. I predicted that this team would struggle in it’s inaugural campaign but I had no idea it would be this bad.

When it comes to selling pizzas, tv’s or auto parts nobody does it better than Michael Waltrip. His down home “aw shucks” act has always played well with racing fans and lot’s more of the demographics Madison Avenue craves. Personally I think the guy is over saturated. You can’t hunker down in your Lazy boy on a Sunday afternoon without it feeling like Michael Waltrip spots are on an endless loop. I get the fact that he’s one of the first race car drivers who understands how to market himself, he obviously picked up a few things from his big brother Darrell in that department. I’m always amazed on race day how many fans still buy into his act. But then again a lot of the people who think he’s witty probably get a real hoot from watching re-runs of Hee-Haw.

I guess Toyota drank the Michael Waltrip Kool-Aid. He is after all a 2 time Daytona 500 winner. (Granted one of those races was a rain shortened event). Big time sponsors love him. He’s just the guy to be point man for the company’s move to the Nextel Cup. If only somebody at Toyota had just dug a little deeper before cutting him a blank check. TV pitchman you bet, winning race car driver…not any more, multiple car team owner…no way! More knowledgeable fans of the sport will tell you that for most of his career he was a walking punch line living off his big brother’s success. He went 0 for 463 starts before winning his first Cup race, The 2001 Daytona 500. Driving for DEI he took the checkered flag as the man who changed Waltrip’s life lost his in turn 4.

If the late Dale Earnhardt doesn’t tap him to drive the 15 car he’d probably be out of the sport right now. The only races Michael Waltrip ever won were restrictor plate races which DEI dominated earlier this decade. Outside of Talladega or Daytona the guy is a four wheeled speed bump. He’s never finished in the top 10 in points for his career. He currently has no top 10’s in his last 54 starts. And this is the guy you want to build your premier operation around? Toyota gave Waltrip huge money to sign former champion Dale Jarrett and to hire 135 employees and build a 142,000 square foot facility in Cornelius, North Carolina. And what do they get for their money? A huge embarrassment at this year’s Daytona 500. Waltrip’s car was too slow and in danger of missing the sport’s biggest race. Solution; put some sterno in the engine manifold to increase horsepower. Not once but twice! Nascar officials never really told us just what the substance was. Napalm, jet fuel who knows? In a sport permeated by the “if you ain’t cheating you ain’t trying” mindset, this was a whole new can of worms. This kind of cheating was so mind blowing that Nascar dropped the heaviest fines and penalties in the sport’s history on the team. Toyota proclaimed that Michael Waltrip Racing had used up two of three strikes and that further penalties would result in Michael losing factory support all together. Michael Waltrip proceeded to throw his crew chief David Hyder under the bus and told a sob story about his daughter Macy on FOX to garner sympathy. “Daddy are you a cheater?” she was purported to ask. What did you tell her Michael? Yeah you cheated. And now we all know why, your cars and your race team aren’t up to speed…literally.